I'm the Personal Trainer Who Doesn't Like the Gym

Personal Trainer Tip: Cancel Your Gym Membership

I'm a Personal Trainer. I do not enjoy gyms. I will do my best not to go. But I still will keep myself fit and healthy. How can we keep fit and active, without the gym? Here I will spend some time berating the gym... and then consider what we can do about it instead.

When I meet new personal training clients, they're quick to tell me that they have plenty of personal training goals to achieve with me - but they do not like going to the gym..

I quickly assure them that they definitely do not need to join a gym! And the best part is they don't need to sacrifice their health and fitness goals.

Gym Culture is a bit of a joke

For many people - (I believe especially for the gay community), the gym has been a place of mixed emotions. While some people manage to find solace in such fitness spaces, others, including myself, a personal trainer, have been fully put off the gym and it's whole culture.

From simply the non-sensical and cringe mode of how we often relate to each other in the gym - the whole 'bro' language that has developed in these spaces, and the sense of not belonging or fitting in due to the over-competitive, hyper-masculine (honestly it seems like a parody) and it's primitive nature, which verges to the aggressive.

If you think the gym isn't for you, it might not be!

In fact, even the idea of going to a gym in the first place is off-putting, many of us have the intuition the gym isn't going to be our favourite hangout spot, even before setting a foot in there.

Even to this day, as a personal trainer, i've worked and offered Personal Training from a number of gyms - I don't like any of them. I've been to the high end gyms and the budget gyms- and they're pretty much all the same, soul-less at best, to downright grim at worst.

On top of this, we actually pay to go and spend a big part of our lives in a place that we don't want to be at.

When I used to work at gyms, I would often find myself in a silent battle with other personal trainers. Having discovered the sound knob to the stereo behind the desk, I would often be turning the loud blasting music down and complaining about the terrible music, for another personal trainer to soon come by and turn the sound up all the way back up again. It would become a passive-aggressive to-and-fro, which lasted years, with two teams of trainers - forming ready for battle.

Who Designs These Spaces?

I could also be found switching off the bright fluorescent strip-lighting, which felt harsh and ridiculous, lighting up the gym like a fridge, for these fridge lights to be turned on again, alongside the noise of the music, by other personal trainer soon after.

I would internally be annoyed at not only the personal trainers but also the groups of gym users, typically young men, who were dominating certain parts of the gym for long periods of time, not sharing the equipment.

Not only as a personal trainer did this irk me, but as a regular gym user too. I found this wolf pack mentality very off-putting, annoying, selfish and frustrating. Over time a slight repulsion for gym spaces has internalised itself.

Post-Gym Society

How odd - I'm officially the personal trainer who doesn't really like the gym. I am over trying to make it work. I am pretty proud of this though, it feels great to shed the attachment of such spaces.

If you're like me and you do not want to be at a gym, but still have plenty of health and fitness goals you have your eye on, here is my take on some proactive steps;

Simply Seek Other Spaces

I like to seek inclusive spaces in all that I do.

Are there any LGBT+-friendly establishments or community-driven spaces where you can feel supported and affirmed?

This is just one of the reasons people choose to train with me. My personal training space is a private space. This takes out the negatives of the gym. Also, as you know, I'm a gay personal trainer, who wants to work with you, and you will feel welcome and supported.

It might sound cheesy but it's important to 'find our tribe' - i'll never use this phrase outside of a blog - and build a supportive network of friends, allies, or workout partners who share your values and encourage you to be your authentic self. Surrounding yourself with positive influences health and fitness spaces safe and empowering.

LGBT+ Spaces Near You

This is a space that I aim to create and can also, thankfully, be found in many locations, but truthfully and unfortunately, we aren't spoilt for choice, unless you happen to be in the very heart of a very big city. Things are slowly changing for the better though with diverse spaces opening up all the time.

In my case, near me, in north London, Arnos Grove, there actually isn't a gym or fitness space that I want to be at. I don't like saying that, but it's true. The gym spaces around me are all typical, 2D, non-inclusive, non-diverse spaces that haven't changed in format for the last 30 years.

Find Spaces with Community at Their Heart

We can also embrace alternative forms of exercise, remembering that fitness doesn't have to revolve around the gym. Explore alternative forms of physical activity such as outdoor sports or dance classes.

Here, you will typically find like-minded people and you can train in a style that suits you. For example if you like cycling head to a spin class. You'll soon find that you'll get to know people in the class. Or you may choose to visit a climbing centre. Interestingly, I have found these places to be very friendly.

Best of all, you don't even need to leave your home.

I often work with clients to provide home workouts, that they can do from their own space. I work with clients on Zoom and also in person. Some clients like to enjoy a mix of in-the-gym and at-home workouts, alongside our personal training sessions.

Clients have many reasons for preferring to work from home, not only the reasons above, but it saves time and much less hassle to workout from home. Some of my clients get very effective workouts from home on their own and this is their main training environment.

Set yourself up with a simple home workout space, A good set of dumbbells is really all you need.

While the gym can be a valuable resource for improving physical health and well-being, it's important to recognise that it's not the only path to fitness.

For many people, including from my perspective as a gay man, overcoming negative experiences in the gym may require finding inclusive spaces, building supportive communities, redefining personal fitness goals and simply working out in your own space from home.

In the end, I'd still rather not be at a gym. I am fortunate to have a gym studio but honestly, even a good set of weights at home would be a preferred substitute for me personally, and this is an option for most people.

Prioritising health and wellness is about finding what works best for you, whether that includes the gym or not. Embrace your fitness journey on their own terms and take comfort in the knowing that there is a personal trainer out there who doesn't like the gym.

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Photo: Personal Training Studio in North London where clients can train with me, without ever joining a gym

Private personal training studio North London